| « Sam vs. Ralph | Mmmmmm... canned whale! » |
Waste of Time
Sorry for the lack of updates for the last few days, but my all my free time has lately been consumed by Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Because my laptop's graphics card is crap the game runs really slow, which means it takes much longer to play than it should. It doesn't help that the size of the city you explore in this game is enormous compared to any other game I've ever seen. I really need to stop playing, but this game is like crack to me. Thanks to my PC, my PS2 and my PSP, my productivity has dropped to near zero as of late. I suppose finishing a game is kind of an accomplishment, but there isn't really much to show for it once you have done it.
Anyway, speaking of wasting time, I'm scheduled to teach once again at my Hell school Yokohama on Monday. Over the past 2 years I've tried every trick in the book to reach the students there, but I have yet to have one successful class. When I first came there in 2003 the ichi nensei class was already cynical, disillusioned and impossible to teach. Now they are in san nensei and are much, much worse. They hate school, English, their teachers and each other. I suspect that most of them have learning disabilities or other mental problems to boot. The ones that aren't in a constant vegetative state just act like dicks all the time. There was one boy who sometimes made a small effort, but last time I went there even he had given up. Since teachers are basically forbidden from punishing students for fear of shaming them and their parents, there isn't much recorse in these sort of situations. Also since schools don't want to look like they failed to teach these bad students, they can just coast through highschool without ever lifting a finger and never worry about not graduating.
Their JTE teaches at Noheji in the afternoon, and cries on my shoulder everyday after her traumatic morning classes. She wants me to think up some amazing teaching plan for Monday's class but I really am at my wit's end. In the movies these kind of students are always saved by a charismatic teacher who helps them discover the magic of music. Well, I unfortunately don't know jack about music, so I guess they're out of luck. I suspect that even if there was some way to teach them using Grand Theft Auto, it still wouldn't awake them out of their collective coma. Maybe I'll just come to class with a SuperSoaker and start blasting them for no reason. It might not teach them anything, but at least it should inspire some kind of reaction for a change.
15 comments
Unless I buy a fast computer I don't think I'll be playing San Andreas much longer. It's just too frustrating at the speed I'm getting. Maybe I'll get the Japanese PS2 version if it ever comes out here. 
Regards the kids, each time you enter the classroom give them the moon. It works for me with my disfunctional classes. Give them the moon? I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Do you want me to give them anything they want, or drop trou? 
Jaime I feel you on the waste-of-time blues. Lately I've been going old school with NES, SNES, and Genesis emulators on my laptop. Jackal, Bubble Bobble, Tetris Attacks, Jungle Strike, Mortal Kombat 1! I even went out and got a USB controller so i could do hadoukens easier in street fighter II and my friend got an adapter for his playstation controllers so he can use them on his PC. Don't get me wrong, beating Contra in 15 minutes and "Considering Yourself a Hero" feels great, and I still believe MegaMan II has the best video game music ever made, but usually I come away feeling like I could have been out meeting girls or getting drunk and video games just rot your brain.Anyway, I definitely understand about the shit-school stuff. I work at a technical high school and the kids are super knuckleheads. If they dont work at gas stations when they graduate they'll be minor yakuzas and father illegitimate kids (which many of them are). In truth most of them are good kids with good hearts, but it takes a lot to get them moving in the morning or shutting up in the afternoon. My advice would be to make a VERY simple lesson plan that involves a simple game with something tangible as a reward or punishment. Maybe the losing team has to sing the school song? Depending on the group a creative thing can work too - such as having them fill in the speech bubbles of comic strips. Good luck!
Thanks Dan for the suggestions, but my kids are way too far gone in their hate for school and each other to do any kind of group work, and singing is definately out of the question. They simply refuse to listen to anything the teacher says and just play cards or sleep in class. If I try to interupt their fun with some learnin' they just snarl at me like rabbid dogs. If I gave them worksheets with speech bubbles to fill I'd be lucky if they didn't crumble them up and throw them at my head. 
On the lighter side Jamie, at least you don't get 'kancho' in those classes:http://www.takipedia.org/wiki/Kanchou_attack
Play the kids out against eachother. Make the loser look and *feel* stupid. Nothing like some humiliation to send across a message. Embarassing them will have extra effect if their classmates laugh at them too.Fear will keep the local systems erh children inline!
Maybe the world of "Battle Royale" will still come to pass?（＾＿＾）ｖ
I have San Andreas for the PS2, but I just can't get into it. I suppose I'm more of a retrogamer (as the Namco Classics collection for my PSP will attest to). Nothing is quite as nice as playing a game from back when games were about fun, and not about graphics/story/etc.As for the hopeless kids, my only suggestion is to make them laugh. That's how I tend to reach the unreachables out my way. That, and showing that I have a working knowledge of manga, anime, movies and video games. ;)
I think if those students were nominated for Battle Royale, they still would just sit at their desks, do their make-up and play cards until their collars exploded. I didn't really like that movie when I first saw it, but I have a feeling that I might be in the mood for it Monday night. Brad, I think the only thing those students would find funny would be me setting my JTE's hair on fire, and I doubt she's gonna let me do that.
Alright, dude... I have no idea who you are, but I feel for ya. Some jack ass kids should not be ruining your life, man. As a student myself, I can try an' give you some advice on what's up. Granted, my school isn't fulla ungreatful pansies or hopless pricks, but that doesn't mean i don't know what I want in a teacher. All these qualities i'm naming will be from teachers I have had in the past who deserve definate praise. first off, you gotta be quick witted. And by that I mean you gotta be able to insult the kids. Like some other guy stated, make the others laugh at the sorry sap. Take what you can and use it to your advantage. Next, act loose like you don't have a schedule; even if you do. Start a day by explaining whatever shit happened on your weekend or some car crash you saw on TV, whatever. Then try to ask them what's up, who died today, did they go to any parties, crap you probably don't care about. If they say some shit just to make others laugh, that's where the first suggestion comes in. Don't give em any room for comfort. You gotta fight back without looking like you're doing so. I dunno how these teachers do it, but they all seem really layed back. Lst I can say is if they don't feel like doing any of the crap you give them, you yell at em like it's a big freakin' deal. If you keep a loose, emotionless face while doing that, it's even better. Tell them how their life will go straight down the shitter. Tell em you don't ask for much, make them want to comply. You're a teacher. You're not payed so much to teach the kids as you are to deal with them. Life's a bitch, you don't need any little bastards making it worse. Let them share your burden. hey bro like deep throat i have no idea who you are but thats ok why cause im here to enlighten you on your troubles have you ever thaught about converting to "danism" the book of dan can totaly help you..lol ok really i wanna be a part of the JTE program but heres the deal you cant reach the kids through music but a sock full of oranges can help it doesnt leave any bruises but it sure as hell lets them know who is boss ya know so i think you should totaly mess with there heads scare them walk in to class and not say a word sit at your desk and stand open your jackt to reveal your strapped with explosives... or somthing like it ......oh no now your crazy then just say look here shut up and listen ....i bet those disabilitys would go away now when they call the cops on ya say you have no idea what here talkin about and blame it on the anime next day show up with a hand grenade (fake one) pull the pin and begin to teach or bring them to america you remeber that program from the late 80's or early 90's called"scared strait" yeah bring them to a american school or prison which ever one would make you giggle and scare them.now i cant wait to go to japan but on a serious note im sorry for your trouble just scare them
Wow, thanks for all the suggestions guys. Deep, maybe you're ideas might work if I was able to actually talk to the students but since I don't speak Japanese and they don't speak English it's kind of hard come off as anything but a non-sensical weirdo making noises while flailing his arms around. Try to imagine what it would be like for a Japanese guy who doesn't speak English getting stuck with a bunch of reform school punks. I was actually condidering the "sock full of oranges" technique as a last resort, but I`m not yet convinced that they don`t leave bruises. 
Hi I'm Manalover1/GTV/Vincent and actually I have been trying to become a teacher in Japan after watching the amounts of the anime GTO and the GTO drama series that I sad enough downloaded from some site but anyways the kids you have in your class this would seem like a tough group to get working with but usually what helps is if you have a very weak or kid that is picked on alot first you become friends with him earn his trust soon over time try making your students trust you and make them think you want to be their friend. Now what you also might do is show them that not some regular run of the mill teacher show them like your a badass too make them respect you by being like them sometimes for a teacher to succeed you might have to take it to the extreme. Well probably by this time it's kinda hopeless for your class but still you should try just make sure you don't piss them off too much to the point they want you dead then you might want to run all the way and find me just to slap me for giving you such an idea lol. Well anyways I hope that the kids might see the light or something and actually want to try and learn and trust you because in reality their are no bad kids and you know maybe when I got to Japan I might see you but don't think of me as some crazy stalker or anything just you know I like to help a teacher because other teachers should trust each other because if they can't then whats the point of it all. Also if you like to connect through your students with music just start playing "Dir en grey" or "L'arc en ciel" because I'm sure every Japanese punk love one of the two if not then play some Ayumi Hamasaki and I promise you, you will see at least one likeing it but yeah if you really want to connect through music to your students come in class and play one of those and I'm sure they might have at least a little respect for you 
Comment feed for this post